Montreal Dec ‘89

In December 1989, Marc Lépine roamed through the buildings at the University of Montreal, calling out, ‘Bring me the women! I want the women!’ In each room, he separated the women from the men and shot them. He slaughtered 14 young women in total, before killing himself. Australian singer/songwriter Judy Small wrote a song [LINK: http://www.mysongbook.de/msb/songs/m/montreal.html] about it which asks essential but mostly ignored questions:

And don’t you wonder why, as you try to make sense of this,
Why is it always men who resort to the gun, the sword and the fist?
Why does ‘gunman’ sound so familiar while ‘gunwoman’ doesn’t quite ring true?
What is it about men that makes them do the things they do?

What is it about men? Why are we so much more likely to murder, to rape women, children and other men, and to assault partners we are meant to love?

The last thing we need is hordes of self-congratulatory men saying ‘of course I don’t support violence against women and kids’ — or, in the words of the Painters and Dockers [LINK: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Painters_and_Dockers] song, ’All men are bastards … except me.’

Wearing a white ribbon should mean taking responsibility for the attitudes, actions and inactions that contribute to sexism and male violence.

Author Ben Pennings (re-published in part with permission www.newmatilda.com)

WHITE RIBBON DAY TEAM

Violence Against Women is a Men’s Issue

In Australia, violence against women is often seen as a women’s issue. This makes sense, as its focus is the sexual and physical violence that women suffer. But I want to stress that violence against women is also a ‘men’s issue’.
Violence against women is a ‘men’s issue’ because it is men’s wives, mothers, sisters, daughters, and friends whose lives are limited by violence and abuse. It’s a men’s issue because, as community leaders and decision-makers, men can play a key role in helping stop violence against women. It’s a men’s issue because men can speak out and step in when male friends and relatives insult or attack women. And it’s a men’s issue because a minority of men treat women and girls with contempt and violence, and it is up to the majority of men to help create a culture in which this is unacceptable.
While most men treat women with care and respect, violence against women is men’s problem. Some men’s violence gives all men a bad name. For example, if I am walking down the street at night and there is a woman walking in front of me, she is likely to think, “Is he following me? Is he about to assault me?” Some men’s violence makes all men seem a potential threat, makes all men seem dangerous.
Violence against women is men’s problem because many men find themselves dealing with the impact of other men’s violence on the women and children that we love. Men struggle to respond to the emotional and psychological scars borne by our girlfriends, wives, female friends and others, the damaging results of earlier experiences of abuse by other men.
Violence is men’s problem because sometimes we are the bystanders to other men’s violence. We make the choice: do we stay silent and look the other way when our male friends and relatives insult or attack women, or do we speak up? And of course, violence is men’s problem because sometimes we have used violence ourselves.
I’ve come to realise that violence against women is a deeply personal issue for men, just as it is for women. I’ve been saddened to realise how many of the women I know have had to deal with childhood abuse, forced sex, or controlling boyfriends. I’ve felt shock and despair in hearing about the harassment, threats, and humiliations that women experience far too often. I’ve felt angry at the victim-blaming I’ve sometimes heard from male colleagues and acquaintances. And I’ve been humbled and shamed in realising my own ignorance and in reflecting on times when I may have been coercive or abusive.
At the same time, I’ve also felt inspired by the strength and courage of women who’ve lived through violence. I’ve found hope and energy in participating in a growing network of women and men who’ve taken on the challenge of working to stop violence against women. In making personal changes and taking collective action, I’ve found joy and delight in the enriching of my friendships with women and men and my relationships with women.
Author: Dr Michael Flood (re-published with permission)

WHITE RIBBON DAY TEAM 

Song: White Ribbon Day

Thanks for your comment Katie, we hope that your presentation at school on Monday about the White Ribbon Campaign went well.

Your comment about a White Ribbon Day song got us searching. We came up with White Ribbon Day by Martin Smith of the British band Delirious – is this right?

‘how can it be that God is just?
When flesh is torn from young and old
And children run in bloody fields
Where is the hope?
Oh God we pray for White Ribbon Day’

From what we can gather, this song was first written in 1996 about conflict in Northern Ireland; it was later offered by the band as a free music download to mark the events of 11 September 2001. 

The song acknowledges violent conflict, but holds out hope for peace.

In Australia, a violent conflict is waged by some men against women everyday. A nationally representative study has shown that anywhere between 40 - 57% of  women will experience physical or sexual violence by a man at some point in their lives (http://www.whiteribbonday.org.au/Statistics-36.aspx).

Violence against women is a hidden violent conflict,  committed by a minority of men, who commonly hurt women in secret, away from the public view. As men we need to make it clear that violence against women is never acceptable. We wear the White Ribbon to show our hope for violence against women to cease. 

We hope that the guys at Katie’s school promote peace by wearing the White Ribbon on 25 November and by taking the pledge to not commit, condone or remain silent about violence against women.  

WHITE RIBBON DAY TEAM