What Can One Man Do?

Wearing the White Ribbon is a starting point. Read on if you would like to learn some practical steps towards making violence a thing of the past:  

1. Listen to women… learn from women
The path starts with listening.  Who knows better about violence against women than women who experience it?  Learn about violence by asking a woman who trusts you how violence has affected her life.  Then, if she feels comfortable to talk, sit back and listen.

2. Learn about the problem
The basic rights that most men enjoy — safety in their homes, ability to go out at night, a job free of harassment — are a source of fear for women in much of the world. The fear is greatest in women’s own homes. A common myth is that most violence is committed by strangers. In fact, women are most at risk from men they know — husbands, boyfriends, fathers, relatives, employers, and caregivers

3. Learn why some men are violent
Men are not naturally violent. There have been societies with little or no violence. Studies over the past century have found that half of the tribal societies studied had little or no violence against women, against children, or among men.  Furthermore, even today, in many countries the majority of men are not physically violent.  Violence is something that some men learn.  Men’s violence is a result of the way many men learn to express their masculinity in relationships with women, children, and other men.

4. Wear a white ribbon
Change will occur if we each accept personal responsibility to make sure it happens. As men who care about the women in our lives, we can take responsibility to help ensure that women live free from fear and violence. Each year men around the world are wearing a white ribbon up to and on 25 November, the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women.  Wearing a white ribbon is your personal pledge never to commit violence against women.

5. Challenge sexist language and jokes that degrade women
Sexist jokes and language help create a climate where forms of violence and abuse have too long been accepted. Words that degrade women reflect a society that has historically placed women in a second class position. One of the most difficult things for men is to learn to challenge other men.

6. Learn to identify and oppose sexual harassment and violence in your workplace, school, and family
Sexual harassment refers to unwanted sexual advances or sexually oriented remarks or behaviour that are unwelcome by another person. Flirting and joking are fine if they are both consensual and wanted.

7. Support local women’s programs
Around the world, dedicated women have created support services for women who are survivors of men’s violence: safe houses for battered women, rape crisis centres, counseling services, and legal aid clinics. Women escaping violent situations depend on these services.  These and other women’s organisations deserve men’s support and our financial backing. That’s why we encourage local White Ribbon Campaigns to raise money for local women’s programs.

8. Examine how your own behaviour might contribute to the problem
If you’ve ever been physically violent against a woman, if you’ve committed sexual assault, if you’ve hit, pushed, threatened, kicked your spouse or girlfriend, then you have been part of the problem. If this happened long ago, admit what you did was wrong and make amends if possible. But if such behaviour has any chance of continuing, then you urgently need to get help getting to the root of your problem. Don’t wait until it happens again. Please act today.

9. Work towards long-term solutions
Ending violence against women won’t happen overnight. Real solutions are truly long-term solutions. Changes in attitude, behaviour, and institutions take time. We must look at how we raise future generations. We must teach our children, by example, that all forms of violence are unacceptable, and that for boys to become men, they do not need to control or dominate women, men, or children.

10. Get involved with the White Ribbon Campaign’s educational efforts
The White Ribbon Campaign is the largest effort in the world of men working to end men’s violence against women. It is a grass-roots effort, relying mainly on volunteers. It needs your support.

Adapted from Fact Sheet 4, www.whiteribbonday.org.au

WHITE RIBBON DAY TEAM